Welcome to our first OneMoreNerdBlog Roundtable (is it a roundtable if
only two people are involved? Most of these will probably involve all three of
us but Travis hates Star Wars so), where we will put the most brilliant minds
in the universe together to tackle the most important subjects of the day.
Today’s topic: people are upset about the new Star Wars movies “rehashing” the
ideas/technology of the original trilogy. We disagree. Here’s why:
Kyle:
Erik, are you ready for OUTRAGE at the UNORIGINAL MORONS at DISNEY who
continue to disgrace the memory of our HIGHLY ORIGINAL and now dead expanded
universe, which included such VERY ORIGINAL IDEAS as A NEW EMPIRE, and a
PALPATINE CLONE, and MORE SITH, and MORE JEDI?
Erik:
I have never been more ready. I mean for God's sake, how could you spit
in the face of such innovations as the StealthX, an X-Wing that is black so you
can't see it?Kyle:
Because in space engagements waged thousands of kilometers apart, the primary method of identifying targets is clearly visual! It’s not like there’s a famous scene where people make a big deal about Luke turning off his targeting computer or anything.
So the big fanboy rage right now is that after The Force Awakens
brought us such “retreads” as an updated X-Wing, updated TIEs and Star
Destroyers, upgraded Stormtroopers etc, it appears The Last Jedi is bringing us
bigger, badder AT-ATs, as well as upgraded A-Wings.
The logic, if I follow it, is that Disney needs to introduce completely
new designs and aesthetics or else they are forever just a billion dollar
fanfic. Your rebuttal?
ERIK:
This is the F-15 Eagle.
This is the F-22 Raptor.
The first Eagle designated for actual military service was delivered in
1976, and the first Raptor to achieve Initial Operating Capability did so in
2005. Nearly 30 years of cutting-edge aviation engineering resulted in
basically the same fucking plane, but faster and more maneuverable. The
weapons, internal systems, and all that are obviously lightyears ahead, but the
physical body structure of a jet-propelled combat aircraft really didn't need
to change much to accommodate those upgrades.
And remember, air combat is (relatively speaking) a new invention. 100
years ago, the Air Force was a bunch of dudes literally dropping bombs over the
sides of airplanes. In the Star Wars Universe, faster-than-light travel, laser
weapons, shield generators — all that has been in use for thousands of years.
Kyle:
Yeah, I figured you would go that route. Heck, tanks have had the same
basic configuration (treads/wheels on bottom, chassis, turret mounted cannon)
for over 100 years now, the details just change with each generation. The same
basic principles of design apply, and absolutely you should take into account
that the Star Wars universe basically hit Peak Tech centuries ago and has just
made tweaks since.
Also of note: the First Order is basically a Neo-Nazi organization.
These are insane fanatics deliberately raised from youth to idolize the Empire
and improve upon its failures by being even more evil and ruthless. Of course
their wet dream is just a bigger, scarier star destroyer or walker.
ERIK:
Right, look no further than Kylo Ren's clear game of dress-up. Without
offering spoilers for Empire's End, I can tell you that the First Order exists
as basically the cult version of the Empire. Which was already pretty
cult-adjacent. Of course they want to use recognizable Imperial imagery,
they're trying to project a strength they no longer actually possess. But even
leaving that aside, the argument that they should just design ships that look
different and can't be produced using the same factories because time passed is
a bad one even on our world. It took 30 years to go from the Eagle to the
Falcon; and if you show somebody who doesn't already know the difference
between them a picture of the two side by side, they'd probably just call them
both "fighter jet."
Why would the New Republic spend that much time and money to produce a
different-looking ship that does the exact same thing as the X-Wing?
This is one of the few common criticisms of the prequels I
wholeheartedly disagree with. I've never been crazy about the way they tried to
make ships that look like distant ancestors to the TIE and X-Wing in those
movies, but not because DEY LOOK MORE ADVANCED DEN DA SHIPS IN DA OT. For the
exact opposite reason, really. I'd rather they just make the Z-95 Headhunter
(the in-Universe predecessor of the X-Wing) and have the clones use that.
Incremental upgrades building on the same basic principle.
Kyle:
Not to mention a GALACTIC CIVIL WAR happened which might have disrupted
industry and commerce and slowed the pace of technological advancement anyway?
But yeah, in conclusion I’d also like to say, and this is a cop-out,
but Star Wars Tech has never been the point. It is a means to an end. It has
never once tried to even deign to explain hyperdrive because it doesn’t need
to. Star Trek has often tried to provide plausible sounding explanations of how
their tech works, and scientific solutions are often used to save the day. Star
Wars tech is there to look cool and move the plot from A to B. I know no one
likes an answer this simple because we are nerds and this is how we get our
jollies, but Star Wars is the prime example of a franchise you should never
over think.
ERIK:
Part of the problem is that the EU did a lot of that stuff back in the
day. The Interdictor Cruiser was born out of the idea that gravity affected
ships' ability to travel at lightspeed, which was brought up to cover for the
fact that a parsec is not a measure of time and was used wrong by Han in the
very first movie. The Interdictor, the Maw, the mechanics of hyperdrive... all
brought into existence in the EU because we couldn't just leave well enough
alone.
KYLE:
I know you enjoyed the Maw and the explanation given by the books for
the Kessel Run but I have never loved that they bothered to explain that as
anything other than Han being a bullshitter. The way Obi-Wan reacts when Han
says that line in ANH was meant to show that it was an obvious line of
bullshittery from a bullshit artist, and someone had to go and retroactively
justify it. It is the perfect example of what I mean when I say “never over
think Star Wars”. I love these movies more than life itself but they are not
overly smart or subtle. They mean what they say they mean.
ERIK:
Well, it was nice in the books because they actually used it to build
something. The Interdictor Cruiser was used to create some of the best moments
in those books. A single fight with an Interdictor sets in motion basically the
entire plot of the X-Wing series, because the Empire can pull a ship out of
hyperspace and force a fight. Which 1) is totally a thing that they would
figure out how to do, and 2) introduced real stakes for characters fighting a
guerilla war. It stopped hyperspace from being a get-out-of-space-battle free
card installed on every vehicle. I'm fine with that kind of thing in an
expanded Universe, but if a concept requires 30 hours of reading to convey, you
should just keep it out of your 2-hour movie.
KYLE:
Fair enough. I had never considered those story implications of an
interdictor cruiser. That’s good stuff, Ted. The important thing is using old technology, or paying homage to it, etc, is beside the point, so long as the stories do something new with them.
I think that wraps up everything we have to say on this for now, no? I
hope future discussions are more contentious, you piece of shit. Conflict is
what readers crave.
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